ISTP

于ISTP性格的人群来说，他们觉得最重要的是行事跟随他们的感觉，自由并且独立。

ISTP人群是根本的行动者，然而作为思考者的他们，兴趣趋向于机械的胜于艺术的方面。他们倾向于隐匿地潜伏着，保存着他们的能量，直到一个值得让他们花费时间的工程或冒险活动出现后，他们将会不遗余力地投入。而不可避免地跟随发生的显著的狂热的情形一般都会被控制着，较少出现。-当自然的或机械的障碍出现，ISTP人群似乎知道他们正在做什么--但是对局外人来看这一系列的事件却描绘了迷惑、荒谬的情景。

ISTP人群很难平等地去理解个人空间的需要，促使他们逐步地在与他人的关系中造成冲击。他们需要能够"展开"--生理及心理上的，--通常暗示在某种程度上对他人的侵占，尤其是在当他们决定了某人或某件是作为他们的下一个目标。

ISTP人群在实际的言辞上是俏皮话的大师，在大多紧张的场合，他们会显示自己灵光一闪的幽默；正是这点使他们被看作无品位或脸皮厚。

ISTP人群在遇到抽象或需要死记硬背的课堂学习，可能有些困难，但这些并不能很好地衡量出ISTP人群真正的智力，相反，有时我们有很好的理由去怀疑它们的实际价值。ISTP人群经常受到工艺美术品的吸引；ISTP人群适合业余职业或技术程序方面的，甚至是大专学历的。

在择业方面，机械学、力学以及任何熟练的行业是保守的选择，ISTP具有很强的数字的和机械的天赋，特别适合从事工程方面的工作。护理人员及消防人员方面的工作可以很好的满足ISTP人群需要生活在边缘的感觉。他们可以在危机中处于最佳状态。他们天生藐视规则和权力机构，使得他们将焦点集中在手边的紧急情况，以及有效的处理它们。

求新求变的冒险家型（ISTP）

若你是一个冒险家型

你追寻刺激的生活和任何围绕着你的兴趣的事，不管是赛车、跳伞、飙车、冲浪或任何其他可以满足你对刺激欲望的活动。独立是你的代名词，而寻找冒险是你的游戏规则。

当尝试任何新经验时，你是完全无畏无惧的。总是愿意尝试一项新的冒险。当然，大部分时间里，你都是自己一人参与冒险，因为其他人可能不敢参与那些莽撞的举动。

当你恋爱时

你的恋情一般来说和你最爱的活动及兴趣有关，像远足、露营、冲浪、修车、木工、园艺、折纸、陶艺、绘画或任何可以让你动手发挥创意的事情。

你尤其喜欢艺术和工艺，因为你喜欢用手劳作，同时也喜欢看到并摸到创作的成品。在完成一件作品后，你喜欢听到对方的真心赞美。

作为一个冒险家型，你要求另一半尊重你的自主权，那是一种对私人空间和独立性的欲望。当然，若你花太多时间独处，对方会觉得你不再爱他了。当这样的情况发生时，也许得稍稍放松你对私人空间的需求，以和你的伴侣发展更亲密的关系。

你的最佳恋爱类型

若你是一个女性冒险家型

你最好的选择是男性冒险家型、挑战者型(ESTP)或者与你相反的教育家型(ENFJ)。

如果你选择冒险家型，你将会和一个了解并接受你独特想法的人在一起，像是对私人空间和自主的需求或是挑战刺激的欲望等等。

如果你选择挑战者型，你将会和那种可以用乐趣、随兴和刺激点燃你的伴侣在一起。当然，当你选择这种活跃于社交活动的男人时，有时也会希望他可以放慢脚步，两人一起放松一下。

如果是和教育家型在一起时，他富创意和想像力的个性将令你惊讶，同时富有挑战性。有他作为你的导师，你的世界将比原来的更加丰富。虽然会有时不能了解他所说的话，但这些话可以让你对自己和周围的世界感觉更美好。

若你是一个男性冒险家型

你最好的伴侣是女性冒险家型、艺术家型(ISFP)或教育家型(ENFJ)。冒险家型和艺术家型都是安静、务实和随兴的，她们可以和你自在、独立的个性互补。

女性教育家型也是适合你的配偶。她可以将你带出自我的保护壳，同时用她的温暖来激发你。

雪莉如何扩大她的界限并认识马利克28岁的雪莉是一个成功的陶艺家，但她在爱情上并不成功。作为一个喜欢乐趣的冒险家型，不管跟谁出去，她都可以制造一些火花，但她总觉得自己是在浪费时间。跟那些只想和她上床的男人约会，一点儿乐趣也没有。

在学习了恋爱类型系统之后，她开始寻找一个可以给她更多的男人，一位可以帮助她成长的男人。她最完美的选择是教育家型。为了要寻找她的教育家型，同时也发展她内在的自我，雪莉决定参加心理学和心灵学讲习会。

一开始的时候雪莉觉得很尴尬，因为她之前从未参加过任何自我成长的活动。她总是认为参加这些活动的人对她而言都太聪明、太刻板了。但之后她发现很多自我成长活动中的人其实很有趣。

在一次内部治疗的研习会上，她遇见了马利克，一位英俊的35岁心理学家，他是一位教育家型。他对她的艺术天分很着迷，而同时她也对他为了内在的启发所做的自愿性工作而感动。

他们一同探索了很多他们从未体验过的生活方式。雪莉和马利克现在在交往，他们的朋友们都觉得很意外，没想到这两个差异如此大的人可以变成极佳的配对。

若你的理想情人是一个冒险家型

在哪里可以遇到一个冒险家型情人？

由于冒险家型享受实际的嗜好，你可以在以下的场所和活动中遇到他们：

*车展

*针织和编织教室以及手工艺展，都是认识女性冒险家型的好地方

*和农业相关的组织

*修车厂和汽车零件店是认识男性冒险家型的好地方

*赛车活动

*五金器具商店

*机械店和俱乐部

*汽车俱乐部

*登山社

参加任何有关于动作的活动，或是考虑任何提供身体刺激的社团或俱乐部，还有那些需要眼手配合的艺术活动，例如陶艺或手工艺。

伊丽莎白，一位45岁的人事经理同时也是一位教育家型(ENFJ)，她想改变她的一些期待，以遇见她的理想冒险家型，50岁的升降机操作员马克斯。

“过去，我从未想过建筑工人会是我的潜在情人，但是我记得我从恋爱类型系统中所学到的知识，也就是所谓的冒险家型，是我理想的配对之一。

“当我弟弟介绍我认识马克斯时，我仍然对与一位建筑工人约会保持着偏见。在我脑袋里，我依然认为蓝领阶级大部分都教育程度不高，并且有性别歧视。

“当然，有些人确实是这样，但当我认识马克斯时，我被他内敛、聪明的个性打动了。他很有礼貌、很风趣，是一个真正的绅士。我发现自己被他吸引了！

“于是，我们开始交往了。不久后，我爱上了马克斯务实及随兴的生活方式。我们第一次*是在他的敞篷车上，那是一次难忘的经历。

“到上个月，我们已经庆祝了结婚3周年纪念，我们一天比一天更爱对方。”

如何与一个冒险家型情人约会？

对冒险家型的嗜好或喜爱的活动表示兴趣，不管是修车、雕刻、水彩画或是针织。

当冒险家型熟练地演练他对极简单事物的创意魔法，并教导你关于细致手艺的活动时，请一同分享他们的热忱和快乐。一旦你表示希望进入冒险家型世界的渴望，他会想要更一步认识你。

另一个好主意，可以邀请冒险家型从事一件与他们的双手有关的活动。来一场指画比赛；和你的冒险家型来一次指压按摩，并请他或她对你做同样的事；与你的冒险家型一起到附近的酒廊来一场钢琴双手合奏。

记住：冒险家型偏爱与动作、即兴和手工劳作有关的约会。同时，他们讨厌传统的电影和晚餐式约会，还有那些无聊瞎扯的约会。

如何赢得冒险家型情人的爱？

要赢得冒险家型的爱慕，请尽量少说话，多做事，你越是自动自发越好。

如果想要和你的冒险家型共享一顿晚餐，你可以出现在你冒险家型的家门口，邀请他到附近的湖边或小河去钓鱼。在一天快结束时，拿出香槟酒和你亲手做的餐点。

至于快动作的活动，你可以和对方一同享受滑水、泛舟或跳降落伞的*。而在休闲的时候，你可以放轻松，好好享受陪伴对方一起修补他福特小野马的引擎、练习弹奏吉他或制造美味的家庭式巧克力蛋糕。

*恋爱锦囊：永远给予你的冒险家型更多的空间。

如果你的冒险家型情人想要暂时与人分开一段时间，请同意他或她的请求。如果对方要求一个星期的分离，不要做无谓的争论。虽然你必须在某种程度划上你的底线，但宁可给冒险家型多一点的空间，也不要给得太少，尤其是在一段感情刚开始的时候。

当 24岁的克莱尔开始和凯西—一个36岁的赛车手也是一个冒险家型约会时，一切似乎都很完美。在他们忙碌的行程以外，几乎每一天都在一起，不是在凯西练习的跑道上，就是在家里*。比起克莱尔曾经交往的男人，凯西是如此的与众不同。每一天，他都以礼物、活动和她从未体验过的*技巧让她惊喜。

之后，问题开始了。凯西说他觉得快在这段感情中窒息了，他说他需要时间一个人独处，以整理他的思绪。他告诉克莱尔他即将参加一场跨州的机车旅行。他也许会离开4周，他将错过克莱尔的毕业典礼。

克莱尔几乎要发疯地问：“你不是说爱我吗？你怎么可以这样离开？怎么可以错过我的毕业典礼？你是一个自私且不顾别人的失败者。我要离开你！”

幸好她对冒险家型个性的了解使她没有痛骂凯西。克莱尔知道她的男人重视他的空间和独立性，远远超过任何其他东西，甚至超过一段特别的感情。

两个星期后，凯西回来了(恰恰赶上参加她的毕业典礼)，他就像一个全新的男人：他为他的离去道歉，并且答应将补偿她。他变得更体贴关心她，并且比以前更加爱她。他甚至建议他们同居。他对她坦承：“克莱尔，我无法停止想念你，于是我告诉自己我必须尽快回来找你。你太好了；你是我所遇见过的最随和且最无占有欲的女人。其他女人，要是我像离开你一样离开她，一定会不可理喻地发疯，尤其是你的毕业典礼就要来临了。但是你了解我，你了解我的需要，我因此而更爱你。”

克莱尔做了正确的事情。她让凯西回心转意，同时她了解要如何让凯西快乐，而且永远沐浴在爱河里。

如何和冒险家型情人拥有美好的性关系？

冒险家型*的方式是实际且随兴的。他们不会浪费时间谈论*，也不会理会那些老旧的规则，例如等待男人采取第一步行动。如果他们想要你，他们会让你知道，然后火花就点燃了。

和一个冒险家型约会时，不要拘泥于那些绚丽的浪漫举动，例如诗歌、烛光晚餐、卡片和月光下爱的誓言。虽然有一些冒险家型会觉得这样的举动很有趣，但他们一般并不会因为这些多愁善感的举动而被打动。

**锦囊：迎合你的冒险家型情人对*的冒险和刺激的需求。

建议在森林中、空荡的建筑物后和桌子上*。加入一点冒险的元素(例如说被逮到的风险)，那个喜爱新奇感的冒险家型将体验到*的冲动。

不像意义追求者比较沉醉于性幻想中，冒险家型对*时的愉悦感受比较敏感：影像、声音、味道、气味。你可以用轻音乐、天花板上的镜子、香水和香味*你的冒险家型情人；用乳液按摩和温柔的轻吻作为前奏曲。

另一项要点：冒险家型尊重个人*的自由和表达，他愿意尝试任何事情，只要没有人受到伤害。冒险家型坚定的相信，惟有两个成年人拥有令人满意的性生活，才是最重要的。

如何和冒险家型情人维持一段长久的关系？

要冒险家型维持一段投入的感情关系也许很困难，因为他们漂泊、随兴的个性使他们渴望持续的冒险和新奇—永恒地追求那种新鲜刺激的恋情。

冒险家型不像喜好婚姻的安全追求者，相信婚姻的组织并渴求它所提供的安全感。冒险家型比较倾向于随兴地从一段感情转移到另一段感情上—结婚、离婚、然后不经计划地再次结婚。

当一个冒险家型确实和一个人永久地安定下来，他喜欢建构一种围绕着他喜爱的嗜好之生活。

男性冒险家型也许会涉及各种各样典型的“雄性”嗜好，例如跳伞、赛车、接触运动或木匠业。女性冒险家型也许也有同样的喜好，但基于社会规范的约束，她们大部分都将这些兴趣收藏在心里。

总体而言，很难预料冒险家型在一段长久的感情关系中的表现。有些时候他们会非常热情地叙述一项他们正在进行的新计划；但有时候其保守的态度则会让他们的情人发疯。

现在来说个好消息吧：由于他们坚定地相信每个人都有在他们自己的空间里追求他们喜爱的活动的权利，冒险家型也许是恋爱类型中最宽宏大量并主张平等主义的一种。只要你尊重他们的个体性以及对私人空间的渴望，冒险家型将会是一个极佳的伴侣、一个有趣及随和的情人，和他们在一起会很快乐。

The Mechanic

As an ISTP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ISTPs have a compelling drive to understand the way things work. They're good at logical analysis, and like to use it on practical concerns. They typically have strong powers of reasoning, although they're not interested in theories or concepts unless they can see a practical application. They like to take things apart and see the way they work.

ISTPs have an adventuresome spirit. They are attracted to motorcycles, airplanes, sky diving, surfing, etc. They thrive on action, and are usually fearless. ISTPs are fiercely independent, needing to have the space to make their own decisions about their next step. They do not believe in or follow rules and regulations, as this would prohibit their ability to "do their own thing". Their sense of adventure and desire for constant action makes ISTPs prone to becoming bored rather quickly.

ISTPs are loyal to their causes and beliefs, and are firm believers that people should be treated with equity and fairness. Although they do not respect the rules of the "System", they follow their own rules and guidelines for behavior faithfully. They will not take part in something which violates their personal laws. ISTPs are extremely loyal and faithful to their "brothers".

ISTPs like and need to spend time alone, because this is when they can sort things out in their minds most clearly. They absorb large quantities of impersonal facts from the external world, and sort through those facts, making judgments, when they are alone.

ISTPs are action-oriented people. They like to be up and about, doing things. They are not people to sit behind a desk all day and do long-range planning. Adaptable and spontaneous, they respond to what is immediately before them. They usually have strong technical skills, and can be effective technical leaders. They focus on details and practical things. They have an excellent sense of expediency and grasp of the details which enables them to make quick, effective decisions.

ISTPs avoid making judgments based on personal values - they feel that judgments and decisions should be made impartially, based on the fact. They are not naturally tuned in to how they are affecting others. They do not pay attention to their own feelings, and even distrust them and try to ignore them, because they have difficulty distinguishing between emotional reactions and value judgments. This may be a problem area for many ISTPs.

An ISTP who is over-stressed may exhibit rash emotional outbursts of anger, or on the other extreme may be overwhelmed by emotions and feelings which they feel compelled to share with people (often inappropriately). An ISTP who is down on themself will foray into the world of value judgments - a place which is not natural for the ISTP - and judge themself by their inability to perform some task. They will then approach the task in a grim emotional state, expecting the worst.

ISTPs are excellent in a crisis situations. They're usually good athletes, and have very good hand-eye coordination. They are good at following through with a project, and tying up loose ends. They usually don't have much trouble with school, because they are introverts who can think logically. They are usually patient individuals, although they may be prone to occasional emotional outbursts due to their inattention to their own feelings.

ISTPs have a lot of natural ability which makes them good at many different kinds of things. However, they are happiest when they are centered in action-oriented tasks which require detailed logical analysis and technical skill. They take pride in their ability to take the next correct step.

ISTPs are optimistic, full of good cheer, loyal to their equals, uncomplicated in their desires, generous, trusting and receptive people who want no part in confining commitments.

What does Success mean to an ISTP?

People with the ISTP personality type are action-oriented thinkers. They are highly tuned into their immediate environment, and driven to interact with it in a hands-on fashion. It is by working with things in their environment that they experience and understand life. By working physically with their environment, they have a natural and immediate understanding of how things work, and how best to achieve their identified goals. Although they constantly use logic to determine how to best manipulate objects in their immediate situation, they are not naturally analytical in a more objective sense. When they step back to methodically analyze the relationship between objects in their world, they often lose touch with their understanding. Their understanding is intimately tied into their physical experience with reality. It is immediate and wholistic. They are naturally "in-sync" with the physical world, and value life largely in terms of their ability to flow with and conquer the physical challenges presented to them. Although they think about and value past experiences, they live almost entirely in the here and now. ISTPs are natural mechanics, athletes, musicians, technicians, and engineers. They excel at tasks that require a great deal of tactile mastery, as well as quick, logic-based action. ISTPs are most comfortable using their known skills, rather than being thrown into situations with which they have no personal experience. The nuances of variation in each individual situation will bring a sense of newness and freshness to the experience for the ISTP. ISTPs often resist and rebel situations that are entirely new, or that require a great deal of structured planning and thinking. This way of thinking is foreign to the ISTP, and therefore uncomfortable. When someone tries to push or control the ISTP into these situations, he or she is likely to "walk away" from that person without looking back. Their resistance to structure may cause them to quit school early, quit jobs that they find stifling, or quit relationships that have too many expectations. ISTPs are often likeable and have more friends and social interaction than is normal for an Introvert. The ISTP genuinely enjoys the company of their friends, and needs their input in his or her physical world to maintain their understanding of their own place in the world. An ISTP's feeling of success is dependent primarily upon their mastery of their physical world, but is also dependent upon the existence of strong, reliable, interpersonal relationships. Without these relationships, the ISTP is likely to avoid relationships, isolate him or herself, and feel very vulnerable to rejection and hurt.

Allowing Your ISTP Strengths to Flourish

As an ISTP, you have gifts that are specific to your personality type that aren't natural strengths for other types. By recognizing your special gifts and encouraging their growth and development, you will more readily see your place in the world, and be more content with your role.

Potential Problem Areas

With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. Without "bad", there would be no "good". Without "difficult", there would be no "easy". We value our strengths, but we often curse and ignore our weaknesses. To grow as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type's potential problem areas.

Most of the weaker characteristics that are found in ISTPs are due to their dominant function of Introverted Thinking overtaking the personality to the point that all of the other functions exist merely to serve the purposes of Introverted Thinking. In such cases, an ISTP may show some or all of the following weaknesses in varying degrees:

Explanation of Problems

Nearly all of the problematic characteristics described above can be attributed in various degrees to the common ISTP problem of only taking in information that relates to or supports their own life experience. The ISTP is driven to work with and understand his or her world by applying their special brand of logic (an immediate, spatial, "fuzzy" logic) to their physical experience. They don't necessarily have a goal in mind to achieve from this process - it is the process itself that is rewarding to the ISTP. In their zeal for the satisfaction that comes from mastering their physical environment in such a way, ISTPs often selectively choose to put themselves in situations in which they have the opportunity to exercise these skills. That's certainly not a problem. Most personality types choose to do the things that they're best at most often. Such is the nature of capitalizing upon our strengths. The problem rears its ugly head when the goal of the ISTP becomes to achieve their personal satisfaction at all costs.

It is healthy to choose your paths and goals in life so that they coincide with what you find rewarding, and what you're really good at. However, it sometimes happens that we take this approach a bit too far and sacrifice an accurate and objective understanding of the world for a more narrow vision that is easier and comfortable for us to deal with. The ISTP affects this problem when they stop taking in information in a truly objective sense, and instead only take in information that supports their way of life.

The dominant function of the ISTP is Introverted Thinking. This function is supported closely and importantly by the auxiliary function of Extraverted Sensing. Extraverted Sensing perceives the world and sends information into the psyche, where it is processed by Introverted Thinking. An ISTP who uses their Extraverted Sensing function in a diminished way is one who chooses to restrict their environment to people and places that support their favored activities. In such a way, the ISTP prevents his or her psyche from having to consider data from differing viewpoints and lifestyles, and thus promotes a lifestyle that allows them to frequently exercise and enhance their known tactile skills. It serves their immediate needs, which are the primary focus of the ISTP. However, it also promotes a lifestyle that is essentially self-centered and narrow in focus. It solves short-term problems, and creates long-term ones.

The ISTP's inferior (fourth) function is Extraverted Feeling. This means that the ISTP is not naturally in tune with how other people are feeling, or with social expectations. In fact, the ISTP is likely to reject the importance of social rituals, rules, and expectations. This is a natural weak point for the ISTP, which no doubt causes strife to the ISTP and their love partner. This weakness can be overcome by developing their Extraverted Sensing to the point that they can perceive Feeling type expectations in the external world. They don't have to use Extraverted Feeling to understand how to act in situations. They can perceive the expected behavior from their Extraverted Sensing function. However, if they are restricting their incoming data to only those things that support their existing way of life, then they are not learning from Extraverted Sensing at all. They are not growing their understanding of social and intimate behaviors - rather, they are reducing the importance of this type of understanding to their own life. In these situations, ISTPs shy away from very close personal relationships, and feel more vulnerable and less sure of themselves in situations that involve expressing their emotions.

Solutions

To grow as an individual, the ISTP needs to focus on taking in as much information as possible through Extraverted Sensing. He or she needs to allow themself to get into situations that they aren't necessarily comfortable with, or that are different from the situations that they would normally choose in life. The ISTP learns from experience, so the best way for the ISTP to grow as a person is to open him or herself to new experiences. Be aware of the tendency to want to run out and do something "new" that is actually just a different opportunity to exercise a known skill. Your task, as a person interested in personal growth, is to understand the world in a truly objective fashion, rather than understanding how the world fits in with your way of life.

Living Happily in our World as an ISTP

ISTPs usually have a loyal group of friends that they fit in with and feel comfortable with. The problems that ISTPs have with regards to fitting into our world are not usually related to platonic friendships. Usually, the ISTP has trouble finding and maintaining a love relationship. The ISTP usually has very simple needs and expectations from their mates, and they're surprised and confused to find that their mates have more complex demands. They feel inadequate to meeting their mate's needs, and begin to get very uncomfortable with the situation as they perceive that they are expected to do something that it unknown to them. They back away from the relationship. Outside of a relationship, they feel more unloved and unappreciated, but are afraid to commit to a relationship because they fear rejection and hurt.

Specific suggestions:

• Don't expect yourself to be a master at the "touchy-feely" game. Be yourself, but remember that there is a basic assumption of human decency that must be adhered to in relationships. If you're not sure what that means, take special care to observe how people in "good" committed relationships behave towards each other, so that you can determine where the lines are drawn.
• Pair yourself with an Extraverted Thinker (ESTJ or ENTJ) who is less likely to assume that the lack of feedback is the same thing as negative feedback.
• Expanding your world and experiences will expand your understanding of human expectations. Try to figure out the personality type of people that you know and encounter in your life.
• Don't fear the unknown. You can handle it.

Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve ISTP Success

1. Feed Your Strengths! Realize your gift at mastering your physical environment, and give yourself plenty of opportunities to exercise your abilities. Ride, play, paint, work it. Much of your sense of well-being will come from these experiences.
2. Face Your Weaknesses! Face your fear of the unknown, and get yourself into new situations. Experience new activities and people with new perspectives. Don't isolate yourself into a narrow and lonely existence.
3. Talk About Your Thoughts. Discussing your ideas and perceptions with others will help you to develop your Extraverted Sensing, and thus your understanding of the world. How well you use your auxiliary function is very important to your overall health and happiness.
4. Don't Be Afraid to Love. That's just your old inferior function trying to convince you that you're unloved and unloveable. It's not true. Just because you're not sure what to do with yourself doesn't mean that you can't learn! Go on... jump in. The water's warm.
5. Respect Your Need for Action. Understand that you need to be actively working with your environment to be "in the groove" with life. Don't chastise yourself for not being the sort to sit around and read a book or watch a movie. Choose a partner and companions who value active lifestyles.
6. Recognize Social Principles. Realize that our society functions around some basic social principles, and that our society would fail unless those principles are recognized and upheld. In a democracy, people vote. At a red stoplight, people stop. If people stopped voting because it wasn't important to their own way of life, who would be in power? If people stopped stopping at red stop lights because it didn't fit into their way of life, how could we drive safely? Your priorities and beliefs are important, but you must recognize that the external world's agenda is also important. Don't dismiss the importance of principles that don't affect your life directly.
7. It's OK to Get Out of your Comfort Zone. Understand that the only way to grow is to get outside of your comfort zone. If you're uncomfortable with an idea or situation because you're not sure how to act, that's good! That's an opportunity for growth.
8. Identify and Express Your Feelings. You may have a hard time figuring out exactly how you feel about someone that you're involved with. It's important that you do figure this out. Don't lead someone on with your ambivalence. If you determine that you value the person, tell them so every time you think of it. This is the best way to make them feel secure in your affections, and so to promote a long-lasting relationship.
9. Be Aware of Others. Try to really identify where people are coming from. Their ideas, thoughts and priorities are differents from yours. They have something to offer you. Try to identify their personality types.
10. Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself with fear and dark imaginings. Expect the best, and the best will come.